I Love You, Chuckee!

My sister recently got a job at Chuckee Cheese. But she doesn't serve pizza or help out at the Skeeball counter.

She is Chuckee Cheese.

She dresses as a giant mouse. One little girl ran up to her and hugged her, crying "I love you, Chuckee!". Another kid came up to her and punched her in the head.

So if you're in the Ann Arbor area and craving some pizza, go visit a mouse named Cat.

Rise and Shine

It usually takes me a little bit of effort to get out of bed. Yesterday morning, however, was an exception.

My alarm went off and the radio came on at 7am. It's set on a Cleveland pop/hip-hop station because the morning show was once enjoyable (it has, within the last several months, become asinine). When the alarm went off, Usher's "Yeah" was playing and it was at Ludacris' part, my favorite. And all of a sudden, I'm still lying in bed but I'm dancing. My arms are flailing and I'm moving as much as I can without actually getting up. It wasn't until I was in the shower that I even realized I had been dancing. The best I can explain, it was like those dancing flowers from the early 90s that would just start moving whenever there was noise. They don't know what they're doing. They've been engineered that way. I think I'm programmed somehow to start moving when I hear Usher. Like a dancing Coke bottle.

The Gnome

I offered to store anything for my friend that couldn't be shipped to California, which included a gnome (the inspiration for this week's unfinished sentence). We had devised all kinds of ways for her to just carry him on the plane, but he ended up being heavy. I told her to just tuck him under her arm and he could be her "personal item" but she thought the airlines might consider him a weapon. A gnome as a weapon!

Sadly, while transporting him propped on a wheeling duffle bag, he fell. I was down the last bit of uneven sidewalk and he took a tumble, cracking his little gnome chin on the ground. All that effort to save the gnome (Save the Gnome, sounds like a campaign), and I bruised his crumbly little chin. He now temporarily resides in my living room. I can't put him out in this weather with an injured face! It wouldn't be fair.

Steven's Last Night In Town

My friend finished repairing dog damage and left for Cali this morning. Last night, after our statistics class, she and some other friends came over for a send-off. We had wine and cookies. An odd combination, yes, but I've wanted cookies for days. One girl pointed out that this combo would make for interesting vomit. Fortunately, no one was at that point.

I like playing hostess. It was fun to offer up my house. I wish I could do it more often, but my place is relatively small and there is very little visitor parking at my complex and they do tow. But I was glad we could get together and send her off and tell all kinds of stories, including one about a stapler in the pants.

Unfinished Sentence Week 4

And the winner is Srah with:

The best party to be invited to would be for monkeys.

(She knows how to appeal to my vanity, apparently).

I loved all the entries. Here's this week's sentence:

Gnomes are creepiest when ________.

Ace, the Helpful Place

Unfortunately, I went to another, larger hardware chain.

I've been helping my friend move out of her apartment the last week. We've had to make a lot of repairs because she has a monster dog who's eaten the apartment and doesn't want to be charged for things that she can fix herself for less. So we picked up a lot of stuff at Walmart but had to make a field trip to the hardware store for the rest of it (I say field trip, because you have to make a pointed effort to go there, it takes 20 minutes down cow-lined roads to get to any kind of specialty store, i.e. anything but a grocery store).

We had a whole list of things, from ghetto light fixtures to spray paint to lock bars to bolts. We were 1 for 4 for the first four items, which included the spray paint. This was something that Walmart did have, but we didn't buy enough. How does a large hardware chain not carry a relatively plain color of paint but Walmart does? They had, like three colors.

We did get to meet The Most Helpful Large Hardware Chain Employee EVER. Another problem with this large hardware chain, which I've noticed many times in the past and proved to be true this time, was the lack of help. There's all kinds of people in their colorful hardware chain smocks until you need them. You'll turn around and they'll be gone, or on the phone, or attacked by another customer. But this guy showed us what we were looking for and offered to help us again and told us where to find him if we needed him again. My friend wanted to kiss him, I just wanted to marry him.

Recurring Dream?

I woke up this morning after a dream and thought to myself that I had had that dream before. Now, I'm not so sure, but here it is.

I was in some sort of maze-like house where a bunch of (evil) fairies resided. There was one locked room and only one of the fairies had a key. There was something hidden in the house but no one knew where it was. Something special. And we had to figure out where it was. I was sneaking around because I wasn't supposed to be there and the fairies hated me. Following cryptic clues, I had just figured out there was a secret room behind the locked one. But just as I was stealing the key from the one fairy, she figured it out, too. So she got the crystal or whatever and I had to steal that. And then I ran, or flew, and all the fairies chased me. But I made it out past the pond and was safe, because they couldn't go any farther.

Don't ask me where this dream came from. I have no idea.

Happy Birthday to Srah!

They say it's your birthday!
It's MacCauley Culkin's too, yeah.
They say it's your birthday!
Happy birthday to you!

(We would like you to dance (birthday). Take a ch-ch-ch-chance (birthday)!)

Yoko Brought a Walrus

A friend of mine, Amy, is coming to visit tomorrow so I've decided to make dinner for her and the one from Cali, Ally.

I'm going to make crepes. I haven't done that for a while. Crepes aux jambon et fromage, crepes aux framboise. I was going to buy some french bread but forgot, so it's Brownberry if anyone wants it. And some noodles. And cookies and wine (both French).

Despite that they're for company, I find it amusing that I would buy the expensive cookies and the cheap cereal. It shows where my priorities lie.

A Whole Lot Of Crazy Math

The project I'm working on has several stages but I'm working on two at the same time and this morning as I was getting ready for work, I calculated how much longer it's going to take before it's completely finished. This took some work for 7 in the morning, because I had to estimate an average this, and how many in that amount of time, etc etc etc. I figured out 3 weeks for stage, like 9, and 9 for stage 10. That leaves me about 2 months for the last part, which hasn't been started. As much as I enjoy what I'm doing, it's exciting to actually see an end to a project. To know I'm accomplishing something.

Movie Night

My friend from who was in California for the summer is back! She lives right down the street, so we would often get together to watch movies. There's this great video place here that has cheap cheap new releases, $1 and 2/$1 older ones. And, Tuesday-Thursday, you get any non-new release for free with a new release (take THAT, Blockbuster). So we rented Beauty Shop and Fast Times at Ridgemont High.

Rudy's in Beauty Shop. It was a cute movie, even with a slightly lacking plot. But still a fun one. And I'd never seen Fast Times before.

I See Dead People

Well, maybe not people....

You know how, when you've been playing Tetris or Dr. Mario too much, when you close your eyes you begin to see the pieces and you can place them where they need to go? (I actually play to the point where I don't even need to close my eyes to see the pieces and traffic lights turn into Dr. Mario pills).

When I close my eyes, I see bones. In my mind, I move the bones around, looking for radii and femurs and epiphyses.

It's all from work. In the past, I've had dreams featuring work places or characters, but when I close my eyes, I've never just seen people playing golf or degus running. But now I get to reassemble bones in my spare time!

Things

So, I have all this free time right now but nothing to write. So here are some things:

Something I screamed last night for all the neighbors to hear:
Where's the chicken, cat!
Something I thought this morning when reading a Gerber baby food container marked "carrots":
Parrots?
Something I don't understand and am really just tired of:
Mariah Carey

Catchphrasies, Also

How weird is it that Katie and I, independently, decided to blog about the same thing on the same day? Because she was first, and because I wrote a crazy long comment on her blog, mine will be short.

Both of the people I work with regularly have what I'd call catchphrases. I hear them regularly and it made me think if I had any.

I had initially decided no, but then, prompted by Katie's post, I came up with one.

"Who dat?"

This is something I think I must have picked up from my Grammie. It's cute. I believe she says this when people walk into the room (not always, but enough that I picked it up somewhere along the way). I didn't even know I said it until I moved to OH, where one of my friends pointed it out because it's kinda weird. When my phone rings, I'll say "who dat?" as I get up to answer it.

Other than that...I guess there are words I've used a lot, but nothing I'd call phrase-y.

Brigadoon

Ok, time for more soap talk. Sorry.

A big complaint about soaps is their weird sense of time. Like Halloween will last days and then, finally, the next actual soap day, it's December.

I've been watching DAYS for 10 years (wow, that's a long time). During that time, Billie had a baby named Georgia which she thought died at birth so she buried her in the swamp. Within the last year, she discovered the baby didn't really die. So she goes searching for her 15 year old daughter. Fifteen!, I exclaimed. No way is she 15! Today, just less than a year after the search began, Billie found out where Georgia is. She was pleading and pleading for the name of the daughter she lost 18 years ago. Eighteen! Wow, and I've hardly aged a day.

Well, I guess the good thing is, when Salem disappears and reappears, I won't choke on the smoke, like when I was in the pit for Brigadoon in high school.

Unfinished Sentence Week 3

The winner of last week...Kevin! With the sentence "Let me out, let me out, let me out, I'm stuck in the Sims."

This week's sentence:

The best party to be invited to would be for _________.

Hope You Like Jammin' With Me

I came in to work today and, because my weekday radio station plays Jukebox Oldies on Sundays (which would be fine, I like Oldies, except they're somehow ones I don't know!), I loaded up a bunch of mp3s that were on my computer, turned the volume up loud (-er than usual) and got to work.

For some reason, there's a subwoofer attached to my computer.

It wasn't until Nelly came on (let me tell you, I LOVE Nelly, I wish he were my friend. Nelly, if you're reading this, let's hang out.), that I even noticed the effect of the subwoofer. Nelly was bumping the whole building! It. Was great. I was amused, and kinda wished there were more people around the department the enjoy this with me. It was like when people drive by in cars with their bass and stuff way up, except without the tinny trunk-rattling they get when they're system is too much for their Honda or whatever.

Ah, Nelly.

Happy Birthday to Somebody!

On Friday, my friend Mary Ann played hooky and we went shopping for presents for people whose bdays are soon approaching!

Words

Words I Like
1. ominous - also used interchangeably with forboding, another favorite
2. opulent - the only GRE word I learned
3. Noggles - a street in Manchester, MI. I'd love to live here

Words I Hate
1. moist - only to be used when speaking of cake while eating the cake
2. giggle - see below
3. panty - you may have noted I've never used this word in any of my posts about underpinnings

I've added #2 just this weekend. It actually springs from the title of that awful book I read Saturday (which should have clued me in). There's something about it that I don't like. I don't mind when people actually do it, but, in my head, it always sounds either 1) ditzy or 2) maniacal. I also hate the name of Grins and Giggles, that baby body wash. I'm also not a big fan of chuckle. That brings to mind people sitting back with their hand resting on their belly. Of all laughter words, I think, chortle is my favorite.

Judging a Book By Its Cover

I admit, I do this. Literally.

I should have been a little more restrictive the last time I was at the library, however.

Our public library is so small that I've been through the fiction shelves twice in the last two months, which means I'm stuck for books to read. I decided this last time, I wanted something lighter to read. Lately, I've been reading books that, while they're not all serious or heavy reads, they're more substantive than the one I read Saturday.

I really should not have picked up this book. In fact, I'd picked it up once and put it back but, for lack of anything else, ended up taking it home with me. Usually, if books have stupid pictures or titles or are neon in color, I leave them be. But not this time.

The book was just so...Christian. I have nothing against God. I like God. I go to church. My brother thinks my mom actually has a direct line to God. But this book (3 "novellas" actually), made sure to point out every couple of words how important God is. In the first story, the characters kept praying. Like seriously praying. In the second, they kept talking about faith and being "God-fearing". In the third, we actually got to read God's voice, as he told the main characters to get married.

I think it was mostly just overkill. I was like, I get it. You like God. Yay, God. I would have had a problem with the books had they had some sort of circus theme, pointing out every couple lines that this particular adventure was more exciting than sticking one's head in a lion's mouth. The first story also went overboard and made absolute sure I knew it took place in Traverse City, MI ("her eyes were like the Michigan sky and Grand Traverse Bay combined" or "you can't go anywhere in Michigan without encountering cherry cobbler!").

Again, I wasn't anti-God. It was just too much. I can't believe I actually finished the book. But I had nothing else to read.

Real Life

I've never been one for reality tv and I just wish it would go away. I did used to watch the original MTV ones, like Real World and Road Rules, but that was it. Although, I'd like to be on Fear Fact (more a game show anyway) and would mind being The Bachelorette (because I'd like to be in control of all those guys' hearts).

I have caught a little bit of So You Think You Can Dance, however (let me tell you, Nigel, that title needs work). Really, I put it on as background because it's the best choice for Wednesdays (I don't get too much tv). But this is much better than American Idol. At least as far as the annoyance factor goes. If someone's bad or flaily or whatever, all I have to do is avert my eyes. Singing, however, can assault the ears if I don't make the effort to mute the telly. I also like how this show goes much faster (not in the day, but in the weeks. It's two hours long but only lasts a small portion of the year AI occupies).

Someday I'll get that Fear Factor audition tape out!

Job #2

I was supposed to start my second job on Monday but, due to all kinds of rules and procedure, it's going to be a little bit, still. So I get a little bit of time off, still. I had worked a bunch of extra hours this week at my first job because I didn't know how smoothly things would go next week and was planning on working this weekend, too. Now I get my last weekend off. Hooray! And don't know when I start.

Domesticity

So, it seems that I have become rather homebody-y. First a bistro table. Then curtains. Yesterday I weeded. I'm not normally like this.

I don't understand how, when we've had very little rain all summer - most of which came last week - I've had to weed like crazy. And these aren't just clovers. They're like trees! Since I'm not moving, like originally planned, I'm going to plant some daffodils and tulips this fall so they can beautify my home, but to do that, I have to get rid of all those weeds.

The Evil That Is Direct Loans

So I think Direct Loans is trying to mess with me.

Now I've gotten a letter saying they've given loans to my school and they will disburse them. So I had to call the school and make sure they were cancelled, seeing as how I'm not a student anymore. They weren't. But are now.

For those of you keeping tabs on my Direct Loans Debacle, here's an update: I got that letter from the post office and faxed it off to the money mongers with instructions to call or email me just to tell me they received it. That was two weeks ago and I have yet to hear that they actually check their fax machine. So another will be sent. Actually, I'm gonna fax AND mail it this time.

Don't mess with ME Direct Loans! I'm persistant! And stubborn! You have not heard the last of me! (Although, sadly, I bet I have not heard the last of them, either.)

Home Decor

I bought curtains this past weekend because The Devil (Cujo/Bad Cat) tore up my blinds and I can no longer put them down. That's fine for now, but it's a rather big window and cold just bounces right off it in the winter. Anyway, I hung them last night. They're blue. I was a little worried they'd make the room smaller, but they actually help tie everything in the living room together (it's a blue coded room)- blue couch, blue throw rug and the blue in the pictures. They're a little long so my seamstress Ruth is going to make pillows out of the ends.

Just So You Know, But Not Because You Care...

I did buy underclothes this weekend. Because I needed them, not because I was without again.

Unfinished Sentence

So, despite that I didn't get too many conclusions last time, I'm bringing the unfinished sentencing back, per Katie's request. I know there are some people (Kevi) who read this but don't leave comments, so here's your big chance.

Let me out, let me out, let me out, I'm ________.

(This is actually stolen from a song, I don't remember what fills in the blank, and, though Mozart is an excellent answer, it's already taken.)

Tears For Fears

Just as a recap, because I know I've mentioned it before either on Srah's website or in real life, I have three (slightly irrational) fears.

1. Aliens
2. Religious phenomenon (e.g. miracles, Jesus in your oatmeal)
3. Wal-Mart

Recently, I was talking about my attic, which I call My Scary Attic (named after The Scary Basement of one of my college houses). Earlier, I had mentioned my three fears and the person I was talking with pointed out it should be four, because calling my attic scary kind of implies that I am afraid of it. But I'm not. I'm not really afraid of the attic; it's just scary. Does that make sense? Like, if I were afraid of it, it would be scary. And then I though about it today, and it really can't be included on the list anyway, because I'm not afraid of attics in general, mine is just one of which one need be wary.

P.S. A couple weeks ago, I actually got freaked out at WalMart and had to just get out of there. It was an almost panic attack and I (again, like at the club) had to run out of there. Or at least walk really fast.

Musicology 101

So, I've decided that I am a music theorist. Theologian? Whatever. I don't mean I can actually analyze chords or the actual music, but I feel I have an adequate grasp on meaning.

For instance, today, while listening to the Alternation, this great station run out of a local high school that doesn't play commercials or let DJs talk, I heard that song about the singer not wanting to live like their father. I don't know what it's called and I don't really feel like searching for the answer.

I never liked that song, but today I listened to the words. I decided it's a Faux Inspirational song. Faux, because it's really just too angsty. Wah, wah, wah, my daddy didn't pay attention to me, I'm not going to let it bother me and I'm not going to treat my kid like that, but, wah wah wah, it does bother me because I have to write some cheesy song about it.

Later I heard Superman, by Five For Fighting. See, this one has a good message.He's just a man in a silly red sheet (aside: a friend of mine used to sing it silly red sheep). That's inspirational.

Try Our New Chicken MfdsaouhtbeskdfxSx!

Driving past McDonald's this morning on my way to work, I noted their marquee. It read:

"TRY OUR NEW CHICKEN SANDWICFS!"

Sandwicfs? Seriously, is F the best replacement for an H? What about an A? Or even a B? A Z? Why not just throw a Q up there. And where's that missing E? Why not write "sandwicffs, substituting the E with an F?

I think they should have just been more creative if they didn't have the letters and written "TRY OUR FANCY CHICKEN!" That would invoke different thoughts as I drove by, about chickens in fancy attire. With little bow ties. Going to a "dance" and Farmer Brown's.

What's That, You Say?

On Saturday, I went to a club with three other friends. At one point, the two men went to get drinks and Cyndi and I went dancing. I love dancing and I don't mind if people come up and dance with me, but the second we got on the dance floor, there were so many guys coming at us that we ran. Apparently, guy/girl ration was high. We made it through one song, but we were really off. We ran so fast (as fast as you can in a packed club) that we actually stumbled off the dance floor (it was ramped and we missed that aspect of it). We made sure the boys we'd brought with us were there from then on.

Sleeping Arrangements

So I've been lagging in the posting, but I was out of town this weekend. I met my mom, grandparents and some cousins camping on Thursday and then hung out with a couple friends the rest of the weekend because one is going back to school this week and I won't see her until Thanksgiving.

Anyway, camping was great. I went boating and tubing (both of which I haven't gotten to do since my move to Ohio), swimming, and ate s'mores. Love s'mores. In fact, once I threw a tantrum that I showed up and little sisters and cousins had eaten all the marshmellows and there weren't any for me that now people always make sure I have some.

The sleeping arrangements were amusing. Normally, we go camping with a four room tent but because there was only a portion of my immediate family (5/7) and we were going to put my cousins' tent on the same lot, we took a regular tent. I haven't slept in the same tent/room with these people in ever. We lied in rows like manicotti shells (I had manicotti for dinner, sorry): my mom, Lisa, Tom, me and Cat. From the beginning, I knew it would be interesting.

My mom's cot collapsed at the head soon after she lied down on it.
Lisa and Cat had gone to bed earlier than the rest of us. But, as I was getting into my sleeping bag, Lisa sat up like some creepy Whack-A-Mole and stared right at me. "She's asleep, just pop her head back down." My mom instructed. Her eyes were open!
Tommy's on this mattress that keeps making that awful air-mattressy groaning plastic-y noise every time he breaths.
And, finally, on my right side is Catherine, who on every occasion I've shared a space with, has tried to kill me. She comes at my with her arms outstretched and tries to strangle me in the night. I've even had dreams about it as it was happening.

But I survived. Either that or I'm writing to you from beyond. *Makes wailing ghost noise*.

My Trip to Giant Eagle

I went to the grocery store today. I miss Meijer, the place that sold everything, from groceries to stuffed animals to lawnmowers. The grocery stores here only carry a select amount of non-food items.

I needed dental floss and Giant Eagle does not carry my type of Oral B so I was forced to go with the extra expensive Oral B. Boo! Yes, I could have bought store brand or Crest, but all they had were the fatty waxed flosses that get more stuck in your teeth than they get out. So I was forced to step up a shelf. It better be some good floss is all I have to say!

Quote of the Day

Today at work, I was all bumbly and couldn't hand on to small things, all because of this:

"You clogged my glue with monkey!"


(Actually, I don't think I ever got to say this, so it's more a thought of the day. It was the first thing that popped into my head when I saw the superglue, though.)

"I Better Not Do Any Lunges"

I forgot the underwear story!

So when I spent the night at my friend's on Saturday, I didn't have a change of clothes, because I hadn't planned on staying, as I said. Which meant, only one pair of underwear. I went without.

We went to breakfast on Sunday morning at this place that, as we're pulling into the parking lot, I could tell was full of older people coming from church, based solely on the cars. Let me tell you, I felt scadalous in my (fortunately long-ish) skirt going commando. Had it been MacDonald's, maybe not, but there were people here wearing pants with whales on them and others using walkers!

Anyway, that's what prompted us to make fun of the KMart underwear, and caused my friends to point underwear out at every store we went to that day.

Ford's Assembly Line

So, I don't think this is exactly how he intended it, and I don't know if it really fits the definition of an assembly line as there's only one person involved, me. But I find that, as long as I am organized enough to keep baggies with the things inside from getting mixed up, it is the most efficient thing to do at work. Here's my line:

1) line jars up on counter
2) take thing out of its baggie, place baggie in front of jar
3) take thing apart
4) place thing in jar signified by its baggie
5) repeat as necessary until all jars are filled
6) sprinkle 1 Tsp of magic powder in each jar
7) pour water into each jar
8) stir
9) wipe front of jars clean of water, condensation, magic powder
10) label each jar according to baggie label

It's a whole lot easier than doing one at a time, I've discovered. A lot cleaner, too, somehow. But it is a process.

Speaking of Hairdos...

Does anyone remember the Fade? Was this similar to the flat top only cut on a diagonal? Is that how you spell diagonal?

Girls' Day

On Saturday, I went to a party at my friends' house in Austintown, about 30 minutes away. I wasn't planning on staying overnight but the next day the boys were going to have a whole day of gaming so the girls decided to have a girls day. So I stayed. (That also meant I could have some Jagger).

Kim talked me into putting highlights into my hair. I used to have some but got poor and had to grow them out. And I get naturally lighter in the summer anyway. So the four of us (Kim, Debbie, Liz and I) went to KMart and played there for a while. I came out with my color and some Twizzler Bites, Kim ended up with several types of lotion (an obscene amount almost), Debbie and Liz bought stuff and we made fun of the underwear.

I was a little nervous about the hair. Not because I thought Kim would do a bad job, but I'm more afraid of my regular stylist. Robin and I did my sister's hair once and the stylist questioned that. But we had used a wand and Kim used a crochet hook, so it's more natural. Also, I won't see my stylist until October or November anyway, so I'll just deal with it then. So far, no one's commented on the hair which means either 1) it's so natural no one can tell, or 2) it's so bad no one wants to tell. I think it's the first.

We shopped, I bought a sweater to store in my closet for a few months, then had dinner at a Japanese place and then I went home.

Monkey Fight, Cat Fight, What Kind of Fight Is It?

I have another wound inflicted by Laverne. This time, they're two little scratches on my wrist. At first, they looked worse than they are. I wish there was more to them, that'd be a good story. "Wanna hear about the time I was abused by a monkey?"

Last night my cat got into a fight with another animal...from inside the apartment. I was lying in bed, it was late and all of a sudden I heard a screaming cat and something throw itself against my window screen. I looked out the window but didn't see anything. I hadn't heard more than one animal and there was no skunky smell or anything, so I don't know what he was trying to beat up. Maybe himself.

It's too big to be a chicken fight!

Some Stuff

I received this from Srah and, since I'm a new blogger, I thought it would be fun. Plus, I don't have too much else to write about.

What I was doing ten years ago
- I guess Summer of 1995, I was finishing up my last year as a player for the Junior Putter's of America. I was #1 in our league that year!

What I was doing five years ago
- I was finishing up my summer fellowship in my lab, although I was there before and after the fellowship, so it really wasn't a big deal.

What I was doing one year ago
- Watching monkeys

What I was doing yesterday
- Watching monkeys

5 snacks I enjoy
- Goldfish crackers
- Wheat Thins
- cereal
- brownies
- fruit (any, except those masquerading as vegetables, like peppers and tomatoes)

5 songs I know all the words to
The first three I know the words to without the song, even. I used to sing them when I had no radio in my car.
- "Foolish Games", Jewel
- "Help", The Beatles
- "Feed the Birds", Mary Poppins
- "For Once in My Life", Stevie Wonder
- "Vogue", Madonna

5 things I would do with $100 million
I can't use the whole $100 million, but here's a start, although not particularly creative
- Pay off my loans, credit card (how boring)
- Buy my yellow convertible mustang (sunshine yellow, not lemon yellow, black top)
- Travel!
- Buy books (I've been poor lately and can't afford 'em)
- Like Srah, wave money under U. of M's nose but not give them any. I wouldn't give any to Kent, either.

5 locations I would like to run away to
- Africa
- France
- Italy
- Some tropical island somewhere
- Home

5 bad habits I have
- Passive aggressiveness (although, sometimes that's fun and I'm relatively harmless)
- Not always speaking up
- Dropping my excercising
- Not cleaning my house enough (it's really not disgusting or anything)
- Eating cereal for dinner 5 out of 7 nights (it's too hot to cook)

5 things I like doing
- sleeping
- playing nicely with others
- being outdoors (swimming, hiking, biking, camping, walking - ha ha, I fit all that under one)
- reading
- eating

5 things I would never wear
- Pants/shorts with words on the butt
- Bows
- Those skirts from the 80's with the several layers, or skirts or whatever (I'd never wear again)
- Bermuda shorts - I just don't think they'd look good on me
- A Trucker Hat (stolen from Srah, again - I already look like a trucker in hats. I don't know if my ears are too high or my head's too small or what)

5 TV shows I like
- The O.C.
- Scrubs
- Las Vegas
- The Simpsons
-Bernie Mac

5 biggest joys of the moment
- My new tires
- Having to work only 3 hours on Thursday (I've worked enough extra by accident in the last week)
- Having a start date for my new job
- Listening to Funktell (actually, this is kind of bittersweet because they broke up last year)
- Remembering my weekend

5 favorite toys
- My monkeys
- Nintendo
- An innertube
- My Chilean dolls
- A frisbee (I don't know, I played with one last weekend)

Can You Hear the Accordian?

Since I moved to my place 2 years ago, I've wanted a grill and outdoor furniture because I have a patio. Recently I thought, well, if I move after graduation, I don't want to have to move it too, so I'll wait. But then I found out I'm sticking around so I was going to make a patio table.

I was all excited, because I like being craftsy. I was going to make a tiled top and put it on some sort of pedestal (not for worship or anything, that's weird, but an actual pedestal). Someone had thrown out an old patio table a couple weeks ago. It was jenky but I thought I could paint the pedestal part and throw away the table. AND, on top of having a nice table, I would have something to blog about.

Yesterday, I went shopping then for some chairs to go with my table. I had a coupon to Bed Bath and Beyond so I checked there. No chairs, but instead I saw a bistro table on sale.

What a steal! A fifty dollar table marked down to 15 dollars? Plus, I had that coupon. Well, as much as I wanted to, I can't make a table for $12!

Alas, I bought it. I no longer have a story about the struggles of becoming an artist. Although, it did take come coordination to prop up all four legs of the table while screwing them into the thing they screwed into in the center. And I still need chairs. Maybe there'll be a story in that, somehow.

The Adventures of Cheryl

So, I like to think I'm tough. I think bruises and injuries are the perfect evidence for toughness.

However, most of my bruises come from a combination of not eating enough bananas and things like forgetting there's a track along the top of the tub for the sliding shower door (I lived in a place for a year and had a perpetual bruise on my left shin because I'd forget to step just half an inch higher).

So right now, I have this bruise on my right arm. Bruises on my leg I understand, they're work related from when I sit at the counter that only has enough space under it for one leg. So the bruises are from banging against the side of the drawers. But the arm.... I thought about it for a while. The only thing I could even think it might be is a monkey finger mark. Laverne grabbed my lab coat yesterday and must have grabbed some flesh as well.

I wish it were a better story. Thinking back, the best bruises I've ever gotten have been from stupid things, like falling on some ice or down the stairs or having a bed collapse on my leg. I'm really not clumsy. I promise. I think I don't think these things - beds and showers - could hurt me, so I don't pay as much attention as I do when I'm roping cattle or jumping out of airplanes (I've never done either). I think that because I haven't injured myself while being daring means that I'm really not clumsy (well, there was that time when I was waitressing and I catapulted meatballs on a customer who didn't even order meatballs. That was clumsiness).

My Friday

I've warned you before, that my days were relatively uneventful but here it is.

Fridays are my day off but yesterday I went into work at 8 in the morning to help give treats to the monkeys. Two can do it, but one of the monkeys is a little more spiritful so it's easier with three. I think I ran errands in the afternoon.

In the evening, two of my friends came over and we rented Kinsey and Hitch and ate DQ. Mmm, DQ....

So that's it. Sorry.

You Are a Winner!

So the "contest" for the unfinished sentence is ending early, and all three people who responded are winners! Until I can convince more people that my blog is a worthwhile waste of their time, there will not be another one.

By the way, my answer would have been "Donuts are best when used as weapons."

Things That Are Not Clever

- that Simple Plan song, Addicted Love that goes, "I'm a dick, I'm addicted to you"
- those Old Navy ads where they serve pants at the diner and the huskies go to the "kid with the appetite"
- Kelly Ripa (who, also, is something fake I'd like to add to Srah's list. Her personality, at least)

You Crack Me Up

So the reason I'm going to being working a full time and part time job is because I can see an actual end to the research at the part time job plus it ends in January anyway. Today, my boss and I were trying to calculate if, timewise, I could actually finish in five months if one part takes half an hour to do and I have to do it four hundred times before moving onto the last part. We figured that, yes, I could. And I said that, if I had to, it wasn't a big deal to work on the last part after the job (and therefore pay)ends and that I could probably even do it at home. He told me he'd still want to pay me somehow.

I said, well, you can pay me in cookies. Different ones every day, maybe some muffins here and there.
Forty dollars in cookies a day?
You're right, that would probably just make me sick.
Or, I could pay you in crack.
Crack?
Forty dollars in crack wouldn't be as much as forty dollars in cookies.
I could sell the cookies.
You'd have better luck selling the crack.

So now my third job is as a drug dealer to all the med students.

"Please Hang Up and Try Again"

About two years ago, Srah, Robin and I went on a road trip to D.C. and then Jersey and NY. On our travels, we listened to a downloaded copy of Evanescence. I don't know if it was to deter downloading or if it was just poor quality, but several of the songs had weird little things in them. Some cut out, one had the doo doo doo of the operator when she's telling you "if you'd like to make a call..." and another, Going Under, had some whooshing in it. We made road trip soundtracks and put Going Under, the downloading, whooshing copy, on it (along with some 50 Cent, Neil Diamond and clapping songs).

Today I heard that song on the radio and I really don't think I've ever heard the actual, uninterrupted version. It was almost weird. It's kind of like watching the dubbed French version of IT and hearing some evil French laugh come out of John Ritter before seeing the English version.

My Stories

What bothers me most about soap operas, aside from how the characters "know what's going on here" when they don't, and how they drag a day on in a month, is the damsel in distress mentality. I'm ok with the occasional damsel, because I do enjoy chivalry, but where are the strong women? Even the seemingly strong ones (who fight everyone to bring home their child or whatever) crumble under the least amount of stress. For example, a tsunami has hit Harmony. As all these couples are being hit by giant waves, what are the women doing? Screaming, crying, while the men are rescuing them. Ok, I get that it's scary. But EVERY SINGLE WOMAN on the show was all, "help me help me, will we be safe in this car, the tree's too high up, don't leave me, I'll wait here while you go rescue the little boy where it's all safe, I'll do whatever you say, I don't think I could survive this if you weren't here, you saved my life, I'll go lie down to rest as you demand" etc, etc, etc. And then men are the ones to bust up the club where the evil man is peddling drugs. And, on DAYS, the manly men concoct a secret plan to fly into the war zone and rescue their fallen brethren.

When I'm out with guy friends, I often stand at a door until one opens it for me. But that doesn't mean I can't swim on my own or stay awake if some bad thing were to happen. If someone were to talk to me like they do on soaps, I'd not do what they told me just out of spite (yeah, I'm stubborn) unless I really believed their he-man strength would prevent me from falling out of a tree house.

Unfinished Sentence

My cousin actually started this game, but she STOPPED PLAYING, so now I'm going to steal it from her.

Complete this sentence. Winners will be announced next week.

Donuts are best when ____________.

Work Part II

Another thing at work involves watching monkeys chew. One chews while waving her head in the air. This reminded me of a friend of mine.

Growing up, this friend would eat like a little mouse. It was cute, mind you, but it would take a long time for her to finish her lunch. She'd sit there with her paws, er, hands, up by her mouth nibbling away. And her ears looked like mouse ears. And she had a tail. No, no tail. But monkey chewing led me to mouse chewing.

"But It's So Pretty"

Blinded By the Light of the Broom would be a good title for a story about a witch.

One of the things I do at work is take pictures of bones. We have this super fancy microscope with a camera and it's hooked up to the computer. So I don't have to actually look through the scope, which is nice. But the light used with the scope is ba-line-ding! Most of the time, it's ok, because the bone is resting in some clay. But sometimes I place it directly on the white background of the paper. The light + the reflecting properties of white paper + white bone makes it difficult to find the bone in question, once I've taken the picture. So then I sit there, blinking the spots away while trying to focus the scope. This has resulted in several pictures that are not actually focused as well as they could be. It's tough.

Alfie, what was that story I told that you said reminded you of Srah's butter story? 'Cause this one reminds me of that. I think it needs a moral or something. Uh, pay no attention to the man behind the curtain?

Back In My Day...

My dad went to a first grade reunion over the weekend. One of his classmates just started calling everyone up. I remember and know names of so many more people from elementary school than high school. Yes, high school was much larger, but I don't think that's the reason I remember them. Maybe because, as a little kid, you're really friends with everyone in your class. Maybe also because we, for the most part, went to middle school together and then many of us were in high school together, too. I don't know. It's just interesting.

P.S. If anyone saw the actual article in the paper on Sunday, there was also a picture. My dad's the angry looking kid on the far left in the front row.

Dream, a la Srah

So, I'm gonna take a page from Srah's blog and tell you my dream last night.

The dream itself was not so strange - I was at some sort of large music/play festival - as was the cast of characters. This included a whole one of my gangs of friends from college, the self-appointed "cool kids" from high school (we didn't really have the stereotypical cool v. nerd v. jocks, although we did have clique-type activity. Also, I considered myself a floater anyway), Clay Aiken and another winner of American Idol. This girl wasn't ever really on AI, but in my dream, she won after Clay. She was short with red-orange hair and didn't really have eyes. They weren't gouged out or anything, they just weren't really there. Anyway, all I really did in the dream was walk around and talk to all these people. They all knew me and I was friends with them. Clay called to me as I was walking by, and the other AI girl complained to me that one of the cool kids was always really mean to her.

"Rollin' With the Homies"

And my homies are named Front Passenger's Side and Front Driver's Side.

Let me tell YOU that it is great having not one, but two new tires on my car. A coupla weeks ago, I had to replace one front tire because I happened to notice it was to' up and I was driving and hour and a half away the next morning. That one tire added 50 extra miles on my first quarter tank alone.

Last week, then, I noticed I was kind of pulling right, and I figured it was the spring chicken tire out performing the granny. So I bought another one yesterday, as I said yesterday, and my travels to work this morning were excellent!

One Last One...

Man, those are long posts!

Question of the Day

I was trying to figure out, when do I most feel like a scientist? I couldn't decide if it was when I was using chemicals, or when I was wearing a lab coat (if even because it's freezing in my lab).

When do you most feel like a scientist? And I especially want to hear from those non-scientists!

Fighting the Government

The interest rate for student loans went up July 1st. So I thought, even though I have only one loan and it's relatively small (<$10,000), I'll consolidate "to take advantage of this all-time low rate of 2%" or whatever. I did this June 7th, as Direct Loans has told me 4 times in the last week and a half. I couldn't access their electronic promissory page so I mailed it in.

On June 22nd, they sent a letter to my parents' house, 200 miles away saying, uh, we have not received your signed promissory. Please send it by July 22nd. I received this letter July 21st. I called to check if they'd gotten it since the letter a month before. No. So, an hour and a half before the post office closed (and this may seem like ample time to mail a letter, but not in Ann Arbor's wonderfully busy-with-no-parking post offices), I drove over there and paid almost $14 to overnight my two ounce letter they lost in the first place. I was assured it would get to Louisville by noon the next day.

On June 27th, dated June 25, I received ANOTHER letter from Direct Loans saying they were cancelling my application. I thought my letter had crossed in the mail, so I called them. Again. Nothing. But call again later, she said, it may just not be updated yet.

So I called this morning twice (it was a busy time, the automated man said, and I hung up the first time). It was still being cancelled. I pushed the button to talk to a real person. The Unfriendly Woman looked it up and said, they had received it by on the 25th, so it was late. And then she proceeded to speak to me as if I was an idiot. Granted, I didn't understand why it was late, I mean, I trusted the post office! But the woman was not at all helpful and I surlyly hung up.

At the grocery store, I decide, no matter what, I was going to have to fight the government. Either the post office for my $14 back, or the stupid loan people. I called the post office and this automated man (I think it was a woman, actually), said it HAD been delivered on the 22nd at 10:02 AM. I talked with a real person and ordered a receipt of delivery. They were very precise. So I called the STUPID STUPID Direct Scam people back and calmly explained you're wrong! The Much More Helpful But Still Just Answering Phones Man said it was dated the 23rd and delivered the 25th. No, it was sent the 21st, said I. I explained that they were lying and that I had proof. So now I'm waiting for my reciept and then I have to fax it to Correspondence Team, not even one person, so that they can lose this, too.

I no longer blaim the post office for any of this. They've been nothing but helpful, even if $14 flat rate is crazy to send a letter that probably would have gotten there the next day on a 37 cent stamp anyway. I believe that the loan people do this on purpose, thinking people won't have proof or the perseverance to search the truth out. And, if they can't even organize their mail, how do they organize the millions of dollars they give to people? I guess as long as it benefits them...if this were I big ol' check, it wouldn't have gotten lost. Or then, maybe it would have, just for the late fees.

King's Monster

So I'm going to try not to become one of those people who only recount stories of their pets. Probably not best to start off with a pet story, then, but here goes.

My cat is the devil. The Devil. I suppose it doesn't help that I named him Cujo. He was an accident. I thought I was rescuing him from the life of a poorly cared for barn cat. I honestly did not want a cat, but I can't just throw him back out on the streets, especially since I live in the "city" (as much of one as there is around here).

So I've spent much of my time cat proofing. I took the little metal plate out of my door frame of my bedroom so that it latches and the cat can't get in to eat Popper, the degu. I've tape towels to the wall to prevent scratching. I've stacked books higher and higher on shelves to keep him from jumping on them. He's torn up my blinds. He recently discovered my refridgerator. This requires getting up on my stove first (for a cat, he's not much of a jumper). I've learned that if I don't yell at him for being bad, he gives up getting on the table because (he thinks) it doesn't make me mad. But I can't let him jump on my TV or attack my blinds or jump on my stove. I don't want cat hair in my food (forget that he could burn his paws, he'd learn soon enough).

I used to keep little toys from cereal boxes or gumball machines or stolen from my sisters on the top of the fridge. Cujo finally saw them after I'd moved or gotten rid of ever little thing around the place. So he'd go up on the refridgerator and knock them down, one by one. Plop. Plop. Ting! So I put them (not the cat) in a cupboard. He'd then get up there and cry because his toys were gone. So then I took a BIG Kinko's box and duct taped it to the top of the refridgerator. Then I opened the lid and taped that standing on top of the box, so that there's very little between the ceiling and the lid. Of course I no longer have access to one cupboard, and this box looks ridiculous but....

Ah, the Life That is Mine

Until my second job starts, I am only working part-time. Therefore, I have all kinds of free time during which hijinx may occur. You may be thinking, "ooo, lots of blog material". Uh, not so much. While I don't just lie around (well, sometimes I do), I don't do anything that may be of interest to anyone else, although it may make you jealous. Here's a conversation I had with my boss the other day:

"I need a nap." - Chris
"You need to work part time." - Cheryl

So, what I do is work mornings 3 days a week and one full day. I eat lunch, watch my stories and then, oftentimes, take a nap. Or read a For Fun book. Or go biking. Or go swimming. Or any combination of those events.

Today I spiced it up with going to the grocery store for bread and milk and then to the tire place to buy a new tire. By the by, that was an EXCELLENT purchase, as now I roll straight, instead of straight into the tree.

So I've decided I need to become more insightful, lest my blog ends up relaying the adventures of the fictional people of Salem and Harmony on NBC. Or nothing at all. Ha. We'll see.

Please Be Patient

As a non-computer person, I like to think I am computer savy, yet I am not extremely computer literate. If there's a difference between the two. Basically, I can turn the computer on and do stuff. So I'm still working on putting this site together. But, if there's any suggestions you have (e.g. comments for others), let me know.

I hope your visit was enjoyable.

PS The monkey is there only until I find a picture of me that is small enough that blogspot lets me publish it. Or perhaps I will continue to put new pictures of monkeys or buffalo or socks or what have you.