Because Everyone Else is Doing It

In my dream last night, I was a crime fighter working alongside Jerry O'Connell. It wasn't like in his TV show; I wasn't an M.E. looking for clues. Jerry was a copper, but he was playing himself. I think we were trying to bust a drug ring. He had been talking to someone suspicious in a bar but didn't get anything out of him so he left. I thought he went to the bathroom, so I waited outside for him to come out. He never did, but I saw some woman get hauled down some dark hallway towards a boiler room or something dungeon-esque because she knew too much. I then figure out Jerry wasn't in the bathroom, so I went outside to go to the police station. Just then, Jerry came back. He sauntered over to me, I told him what was going on and he said the suspicious man said something that just wasn't right. Some of the drug guys came out and we hid under the stairs to the bar's entrance. Jerry pulled out his gun and I sat way back so he could shoot around me (I think I was a civilian helper and therefore didn't have one). I woke up right before the first shot would have been fired.

Ah, Jerry. You'll never guess my secret identity. Who's on the inside, looking out?

The Radio Music Awards

I had the RMAs on last night while I was reading a For Fun book and here are some things I'd like to share:

1. In the hour and a half I watched, they seriously gave out about six awards. Which is fine, except the rest wasn't, of course, performances, there was also some stupid skits involving a Las Vegas Santa and reality show "winners".

2. The comeback that is Ricky Martin looked good...until he started to dance. It wasn't so much Shake Your Bon Bon as it was Shake Your Leg and Tilt Your Head As If You Just Got Out of the Pool and Have Water in Your Ear and Are Trying to Get it Out (did anyone else do that? Or was it some cruel thing my aunt told us to make us look ridiculous?). He just looked silly.

3. What was going on with Mariah Carey's breasts? Somehow, the gimungous things made her look mannish. I really couldn't figure it out. Ah, crazy Mariah.

It's Sounds Gross, But I Bet You're Curious!

For the departmental Christmas party last night, I took some tasty treats that I liked to call Flattened Snowman Bits. These were really Minty Cheese Balls.

Minty Cheese Balls!?!? Yes, Minty Cheese Balls. I picked this treat solely based on the number of ingredients: 3. I had never made them before or even eaten one before. But really, it only meant I had to buy cream cheese and mint extract and it's the end (middle!) of the month of December and I have no money so that was good. I refused to try one before the party because 1) it would ruin the nice, even two dozen and 2) if they were disgusting, I would be obligated to buy something else. This way, I could feign ignorance.

So when I got to the party, before even setting them out, I made someone else eat one. And they were good! Someone even said they tasted like Junior Mints' minty center. I feel the presentation was lacking a bit (they need color; next time I'll use food coloring, colored sugar or even jimmies to roll them in), but I was happy that they were not only edible but tasty. Now I'm going to end up making the all over the place, they are my new specialty.

Given a Little More Thought...

Related to yesterday's post, I do say things like "I can't wait for Dairy Queen on Tuesday." I guess I exaggerate only when food, not people, is involved.

Gross!

The 10 second rule shouldn't be in affect in labs, right? Too bad, I ate the cookie anyway. (It's was a cookie!)

Updates

One: The footwear my brother sent me was some Uggs. It was part of his Christmas present from his company. He kept the iPod and regifted the boots to me, saying they weren't quite his style. I don't know if they're my style either, as they don't match my closet. I've never really understood Uggs, but I put them on the other day and they kept my tootsies so warm! It'll really cut down on the electricity. And for those of you (like me) who have never gotten why you've seen people wearing them in the summer, I guess they originated as surfer-wear and, according to the booklet that came with the boots, they are meant to keep your feet at body temperature in the cold and the hot (although, does anyone really need to keep their feet at body temperature in the hot? Do feet get hotter than body temperature, like they get colder in the cold? And I like to wear no shoes in the summer. But whatever.). I've never really gone for fads or trends (the 80s don't count, although it was really only me and my best friend who pegged our pants. Stop laughing) and, at times, rebel just because everyone's doing it (which includes a certain wizard whose name rhymes with hairy.). I do appreciate them, it's a cool present. And it's kind of fun having something "high fashion". Until now, the fanciest thing I've owned was a clearance shirt from Banana Republic. And a pair of Levis. As an added bonus, the box they came in works perfectly for something I've been trying to ship for a week but couldn't find a box for.

Two: I received a mystery call today. The number came up as Unknown but there and there was no message. Perhaps it is the man who keeps calling? Except usually a number pops up. But that's exciting if he finally learned to listen.

He Must Live at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave

Remember the calls for the customize kitchen place? Yeah, so now I keep getting one from some man from such a place calling on behalf of his clients so and so for some man that works at the kitchen place.

I've spoken with this man calling and explained that, yes, he is dialing correctly but, no, I am not that man he is trying to reach.

It hasn't stopped him. I get at least one voicemail a week with the same message (see above). So I changed my outgoing "greeting".

"Hi, you've reach xxx-xxx-xxxx. I am NOT (kitchen place). If you're calling for Cheryl, please leave a message. Thanks, bye." (that last part stated all sachharine sweet with only a hint, a hint of sarcasm.)

He called again yesterday. I thought maybe he was confused because I actually mentioned the company he's trying to call in in the message. Thus, my new message plays as follows:

"Hi, you've reach CHERYL. I do not custom-make anything. I do not know (man's name). If you're calling for CHERYL, please leave a message. Thanks, bye."

Somehow, I don't think it will work.

Unfinished Sentence

I don't remember last week's and I don't want to look it up, so I declare David Bowie to be the winner.

This week's sentence:

"Monkey business would be even better if it also involved ____________."

So That You Are Not Kept In Suspense Any Longer (or Maybe in More Suspense)!

I received footwear yesterday from my brother! That's all I'm going to say until I talk to him. I will tell you this: it was not a little elfin man as I had feared/hoped.

See November 9th

We had our holiday brunch(eon?) yesterday at Job #1. It started at 11 and went until 1, but, because I normally work only until noon, I decided to wait until then. Also, entertainment was provided by the local elementary school choir and I was hoping to miss them. Additional "entertainment" was a carol lead by the Job #1 community (aka a sing-a-long for adults).

The school-wide lunches are usually hamburgers and paper plates with folding tables and include students. Yesterday was fancy with chicken and real plates and actual tables and students weren't invited (ha ha! Who's better than who now?). Around noon, I stopped by my boss' office, where he was eating lunch, knowing nothing about this event (the secretary went around telling everyone else who already knew, I don't know why she missed someone who didn't). So he came to lunch with me. Pickins' were slim since we were late (they put more food out as soon as we sat down), but we found stuff and I had pie. We chatted for a minute and then...out came the kids. Apparently coming an hour late was not late enough for I had to endure, er, enjoy, the children singing. They started singing and my boss and I both started giggling (not at them, mind you, but at the situation. I had earlier mentioned that I was not planning on staying for the festivities, which included the singing children and my boss agreed that he did not enjoy singing children, either). I guess we came JUST for the singing children.

(The second graders were okay, they were at least cute when they sang and danced to a boogying santa. The fourth graders were totally uninterested and were all about speeding up the song rather than keeping the tempo with the music and the music teacher couldn't control them.)

Two Pedestrians

Yesterday on my walk to work, I was behind this girl with such horrible posture. And it wasn't that she was hunkered down against the cold (although, she was not wearing a hat, silly girl!), it was that she, apparently, was impersonating someone named Quasi. I really really wanted to go behind her, grab her shoulders and yank them straight. I think this was something my dad used to do and I think I have pretty good posture. Straight, but not so straight it looks as though I am wearing uncomfortable underwear.

On the walk home, I passed a girl on her phone who told the other person's voicemail that she couldn't wait to see them. I thought, how nice! But then I thought, I don't think I've ever told someone I couldn't wait to see them. I've been excited to see people, but I've never actually told someone that I absolutely was going to die or wet my pants because I couldn't contain myself until then. Maybe that makes me a bad friend (or maybe it makes me someone not prone to exaggerations - at least not those kinds. A gajillion billion trillion cookies in my freezer is another thing.)

Reasons Why I Haven't Posted

- I've been working on my stats take-home exam. Man, I haven't spent all day on school work since April (and by all day, I mean on Sunday I started at 1:30, there was an hour phone call in there somewhere, and there was the occassional five minute nap)! It actually made me a little crazy, and I was marching around singing The Toy Soldier March to my cat. I don't even like the song!

- I've worked late all week so far because I wanted to get in my hours so I could attend all my holiday parties (4) this week. And, yes, that includes The O.C.'s Chistmakkah tonight.

Compliment or Offense?

I love not being carded. I actually don't get carded much anymore; occasionally just at the grocery store. Last weekend at the club, we just walked right in. They may have just been trying to get women into the club and we didn't drink anything anyway but it still made me feel special. Kind of like if there were a velvet rope and we were able to pass through without waiting in a line that snaked around the corner. Last night buying wine at the grocery store, the head guy just punched in whatever date they punch into the register whenever they don't ask for ID.

Maybe in five years, I'll be like "do I really look like I'm over 30?!?" when I don't get carded but for now it's cool (At this point, I don't think I'll think that; I like having my birthday, mostly because it's an excuse for a party.). I'm glad I don't look 21. Or 12 (kids' menu please? Ha ha!)

All Finished With Two Weeks to Spare!

I just finished the last of my Christmas shopping! And, at the beginning of my shopping season, I got out a bunch of cash and said if I ran out, too bad for anyone who didn't have a present. But I still have $11 dollars left, which will be nice for shipping one gift out.

Happy Pie Day!!!!

Six years ago, my roommates and I created a little thing we call Pie Day. It was completely spontaneous at the time. Everyone was all of a sudden in the mood for pie so they drove to the store to get some - making up new lyrics to Fat Boy Slim and BSB songs to contain the word pie - and came home with three pies. It has since lead to a a yearly event that is somewhat national (because we're now in many parts of the country). In college, we would have pie parties and invite a bunch of people over for a variety of pies.

Pie can be any pie. Pumpkin Pie, apple pie, pizza pie. But don't be fooled by that cheesecake - it only looks like pie but you can clearly see that it contains the word CAKE. Tonight I'm going to my friend's house and we're going to watch movies and eat pie.

We have since learned that there is a National Pie Day on January 23rd (which, not coincidentally, is the date for my pretend wedding, if my betrothed ever responds to my email). While it would be nicer if the dates were a little spread out, we still celebrate our own Pie Day and actually with more vigor and enthusiasm than National Pie Day.

So go get some pie (even a Hostess individual pie) and celebrate with us!

In All Seriousness...

I love my winter hat (but no, not enough to marry it). It's wool and it's warm and it covers my ears. And it has ears. I don't mean ear flaps. Nor do I mean pictures of ears knitted on it. I mean it has two pieces of extra fabric on the top meant to look like bear ears.

I'm sure it attracts some glances but it's so warm. I wear it confidently and pretend like nothing's strange.

I am not all about being serious. What's the point? I am completely grown-up when I need to be. In a professional setting or when something important is going on, I am easily an adult. But when it's just me? Or me and friends? There's no need to carry a somber looking face or to not laugh. I once read that laughing from the belly for 15 minutes a day burns, like, a bajillion calories. Not that I care about that. But isn't that another good reason to not be serious? I have a friend who makes fun of me because I have told him he needs to just get into a snowball fight. Just because you're 30 - or 50 or 90 (well, maybe not 90) - doesn't mean you can't go sledding with the kids.

The Nicest Site on Earth

The other day I ordered something from this website that was just so polite (I'm not gonna tell you what site because it was a gift and the receiver might be able to figure it out, although I don't think they read this anyway...). My confirmation email said that they'd like to thank me again. The shipping email wished me a good evening and thanked me a third time. And it's not a needy thanks or an obligatory thanks like from anywhere else; I can tell it's heartfelt. Too bad it's a specialty store and I'll probably never shop there again. I may have to begin tailoring my interests just to them...although that might be hard because it was a gender-specific site of which I am not.

One Down!

Today was my last day of class! Only two months until I can be normal busy instead of busy busy!

Things That Sound the Same

- Bear and bare
- Baby dolls and car horns
- P.O.D. songs (in one, there's even a line "When will we sing a new song?")

Unfinished Sentence

Last week's sentence winner was Srah with:

"The wheels on the bus go poop."

Not the best answer, but...

Here's this week's sentence:

"All I want for (fill in the holiday) is _____________."

Phone Etiquette

So the phone just rang and I answered it with a (professional) hello and received "yes." as a response. And nothing else. So I said hello again, this time with two question marks and got "yes." again. I finally asked "Can I help you?" and there was some confusion on both my part and the woman's part. Turns out she had been transferred but someone had misdialed the last number. I looked up the right number for her and she was on her way.

Who response with "yes."? AND NOTHING ELSE? Never once did she explain why she called me. I didn't call her, I don't know what's going on. At first, I actually thought it was a child who called. Who taught this woman how the phone works? Am I psychic and just don't know it? (I guess I'm not a very good psychic, then.)

The Backward State In Which I Live

So there's this man running for governor of the state named Jim. He's got this little ad campaign going that, the first time I saw it, made me think it was for The Jesus Christ Church of Latter Day Saints or whatever. He gets on the T.V. and talks about how he and his wife Linda or Nancy or whatever her name is like to worship. So come worship with them. They're "anti-pro choice" and think "a marriage between a man and a woman..." blah blah blah. So join them for worship.

WHAT?!? How is this at all politics? Yes, these are issues that have become political, but they shouldn't be. Why is it anyone else's business what anyone else does? Sadly, Jim has a a good chance of winning because the current governor sucks and I live in the land of crazies where everyone is all podunk and backwards. And if he won, we no longer would be better than Kansas. And forget any of us scientists having a job because he'll probably change the law to make it say science doesn't exist and everything, including him standing on the ground rather than floating, is a miracle and anyone who floats is a witch that needs to get sucked into outeraspace anyway. Because they're not good people and won't worship with him.

Whatever, dude. You make me mad.

Boo On My Excellent Circadian Rhythms!

During undergrad, I worked in a lab that studied our daily inner clocks. I was the poster child for that lab; my advisor liked that I went to bed at the same time and was up at the same time everyday. And my nap time always came at 3:30 (peak nap time is 2-4).

Since I have been working, I can't sleep past nine anymore (which I guess is something, since I'm up at 7 during the week). Unfortunately, this is true even when I don't get to bed until, say, after 4 like I did both Friday and Saturday nights. Sometimes I'm up because the cat likes to throw himself against my bedroom door but this weekend, he was surprisingly quiet (I'm not quite sure why. I thinking pulling ornaments off my Christmas tree was keeping him occupied). But there I was, up at 9:15 anyway. Sigh. I guess it did give me a chance to get my oil changed and to go to work. Hooray.

My Friend the DJ

This past Saturday, me and two other girls went dancing in Cleveland. At one point we were dancing all happily to some song or other when the song changed. And I watched everyone stop dancing. I think it was Lenny Kravitz. Can't really dance to him. We were in the corner by the DJ booth, so I had a view of the floor and really, everyone was just standing there. I looked over at the DJ to see if he was going to do anything about the lack of dancing at the dance club. But the song kept playing. He then caught my eye and asked me to come over and then asked what song would make us start dancing again. Unfortunately, all I could think of was Nelly (cause I love me some Nelly), which he'd just played. So I passed it on the my friend who picked some equally undancable song but she liked it.

It made me feel special (like Marcia Brady). I like to think I have an in with that DJ. Next time, though, I'll have to be prepared. I'm thinkin' some Luda.

(After dancing, it took us an hour and a half to get home because of the snowstorm that happened while we were in the club. But we made it.)

Here's A Question...

If one is to shop for low rider pants, which therefore have no waist, are they still sized by the (non-existent) waist or are they now sized by the hip?

It's Like Wear No Pants

Yesterday for Job #1 I had to don some scrubs. I've never worn scrubs before. They are the most comfortable things ever! I felt like I was pants-less. It was great,

(Apparently, the med students also like the scrubs, but I think they were them because of the "prestige" rather than the comfort, like they do their White Coats.)

I've Got Shoes! They're Multiplyin'

My brother works for a big company that will occasionally have employee only sales of some really nice, though slightly used, clothes for really cheap. I like to joke with him and make sure he knows what size I wear, particularly on my feet.

The other day, I got this email from him with the subject line "What size shoe do you wear?" and "And what's your address?" as the only body of the email. I've very curious. Is my brother generous enough to send me shoes AND get me a Christmas present? I figure he's either:

a) really sending me shoes!
b) sending me a catalog/cobbler who only offers shoes to fit my feet
c) sending me a pair of 50 cent shoes he found on the street (why is he paying 50 cents for shoes he found on the street?)

Still...I'll take a) or b) please.