Monkey See Monkey Do Monkey

My university did not have a mascot. Yes, we were the Wolverines, but we did not have anyone dressing like a wolverine, fan or otherwise. It's because we had class (I'm not making that up. That was the reason given by the university). There were no cows or oranges or big-headed leprechauns on our field. No-sir-ee. Mascot-less equals class-full.

However, I have found one exception.

When I came in to work on Sunday, I found, pinned to the bulletin board, The Amazing Live Sea-Monkeys (a kit, not an actual sea monkey. That'd be a bit morbid, don't you think?). "World's only instant pets!", it boasts. My boss had decided we needed a mascot. So I set about setting them up.

Man, sea monkeys are high maintenance! At least the set up is. I had to do this and let it sit for 24 hours. Then I had to do this for five days. In 3 and a half weeks, something happens (I think they mate?). I've never had sea monkeys (a neighbor friend did growing up, but really I think he just had the aquarium and his parents told him there were sea monkeys in it). They come in a little pouch and then - poof! - there they are. They really are insta. It's like magic. And I can purchase things like lamps and vitamins and CUPID POWDER! And the best thing about my sea monkeys in particular is they came with a Wrist Aquarium, so I can suck one up in the little sucker thing they gave me and take some home (but only for 72 hours).